Didi steps through the door and smiles at Cassie, “What’s up?”
“Nothing much! Take off your jacket and give it here, girl.” Cassie holds her hand out.
“Thanks.” Didi shucks her coat and hands it over. While the woman hangs it up, Didi fidgets with the hem of her blue sweater, cursing herself for wearing her thinnest pair of jeans in the middle of winter. “Where is everybody?”
“Oh, they’re in the kitchen. We’re about to start up the music and dancing.” Cassie leads Didi through the living room and into the kitchen where most of the team members were already waiting. The best Didi could figure, the two people missing were Lindsay (who was late to everything), and Suzanne.
Bianca smiles at her, “Hey, Didi! You want something to drink?”
Didi examines the offerings and laughs, “I’m not legal to drink this stuff.” Everyone laughs, causing Didi to feel like the “stupid freshman”. The doorbell rings and saves her when everyone but Bianca runs to the door screaming Lindsay’s name. Didi bites her lip and mumbles, “I’ll take a Pepsi I guess.”
Bianca smiles and puts a hand on the girl’s shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry about what they think. You’re new. You’ll start fitting in. I was like that, too. And then Shay taught me everything I know.” She winks at the younger girl as she hands her a Pepsi.
“Yeah, but who’s gonna take me under their wing?” Didi pops open the Pepsi with a sigh. “I just feel so stupid sometimes. So..young and stupid.”
Bianca tries to comfort the girl through her heavy European accent, “I know. We all did at one point, though. Don’t think you’re alone. I swear you’re not.” She recognizes the look of disbelief on Didi’s face and adds, “Trust me. Pretty soon you’re going to feel more part of this little group than you want to!”
Didi laughs, “I doubt it!”
“You’d be surprised.” Bianca grabs another Pepsi and her own drink. “Come on. We gotta wait on someone.”
Didi follows the woman past the crew of girls turning up the music in the living room and out to the front porch. “Who are we waiting on?”
Bianca puts the Pepsi on the table between the two chairs on the porch, “Have a seat.”
Didi takes the chair on the other side of the table and looks out at the street. Very little traffic passes the little house on the outskirts of campus, but there seems to be a little more traffic than usual tonight. For some reason, she finds herself holding her breath every time a car approaches. Every car is watched very carefully. Is that her? No. Is that her? No. Then a car passes and pulls over immediately.
Bianca mumbles, “There she is.”
Didi’s jaw clenches and her eyes are riveted to the dome light in Suzanne’s car. She can only see the back of the woman’s head, but it’s enough to make her heart thunder.
When Suzi gets out of the car, she notices the two women on the front porch. She squints in the darkness to make out who it is. Shit. She beat me here. Of course she did, Suzanne. Jesus. You took 5 hours to get ready. Damn.
Bianca stands as Suzi approaches the porch, “Hey girl.”
“Oooh, I’m special enough for porch-side service?” her smile is easy but has a tinge of nerves.
“Yeah,” Bianca laughs, “of course you are.” She holds out the Pepsi, “You better take this before you have to wrestle Didi for it.”
She takes the Pepsi and Bianca leads the girls through the door. “Nah,” she shoots Didi a look, “I would give it to her willingly.” I wonder if she’s even gay. Well there’s only one way to find out.
Didi’s thrown off by this statement so much that she stumbles over the threshold. “Fuck!” She immediately turns red, “Sorry y’all.”
Suzanne turns and smiles at her, “Don’t be sorry. There will be a lot of that later, sweetheart.” She winks at the girl, noting the way Didi’s face flushes a darker shade of red.
The mere implication of sex makes Didi flush with heat. She closes the door behind her and tries to calm herself. Just be cool, Tate. Just breathe. You’re fine. They are not mean. They like you. You’re cool. Just breathe. She feels a heat from behind her. Turning slowly, she finds Suzi right behind her.
The older, but shorter, woman stares a moment into Didi’s eyes. Then quietly, she says, “I want to dance with you.”
What? Me? “You do?”
Suzi nods slightly, “Yes, I do. Will you dance with me?” She holds out her hand for Didi to take.
Didi swallows hard, “I don’t dance well.”
“You’ll do fine.”
“But I’m not really good at all.”
“You protest too much. Don’t be nervous.” Suzanne reaches her hand out a little further, “Come on”.
Didi sets her drink down on the nearest flat surface and wipes her hands off on her jeans. Then she takes the hand. Oh God. Please, sweet Jesus, just don’t let me step all over her.
Suzi leads her to the middle of the floor and nods at Cassie, “Alright, Tate. You name it. Slow or fast?”
Didi looks around the room and no one’s paying attention. “Um, slow?”
“Are you sure?” Suzanne prods gently.
Didi nods, “Yeah. I’m sure.”
Suzi’s face softens, “Good choice.” She turns to Cassie, “Number 7, please?”
The music master nods, “Good one. Coming right up.” She cues #7 and steps to the lights. She dims them slightly and moves to take her own girlfriend’s hand.
Suzanne wraps her arms around Didi’s waist as the song begins. The younger girl instantly recognizes it as “Nice and Slow” by Usher. She panics. Shit! What do I do with my hands? Her boobs feel good. What do I do with my hands? She smells so fucking good. Where do my hands go? She slides her hands around Suzi’s neck and drapes her arms loosely on the woman’s shoulders. I guess this is alright. God she’s moving now. Concentrate.
Suzi begins to sway slowly and half-mumbles, half-sings the words to the song. She lays her head on Didi’s chest and closes her eyes.
Didi damn near melts into the floor. Oh my God! Oh my God! She’s like, oh my God! She’s holding me! And I’m holding her! And we’re dancing! Okay Tate, just breathe. Get comfy. Just go with it. If you fuck it up, maybe she won’t laugh too hard. She relaxes a little and lets her arms slide down to envelope Suzi and hug the woman to her body. She closes her eyes and just concentrates on the feel of the woman against her. She finds herself forgetting all the people around them and pretty soon, it’s just the two of them.
When she feels the younger girl’s body relax, Suzanne smiles. She settles in against her dance partner and sighs with contentment. This is perfect. Just exactly like I thought it would be. She smiles to herself. She’s so gay! The song fades out and Didi stops swaying. Sue looks up into Didi’s face. Kiss me. Do it.
God, I wish I could kiss her. She stares and gets lost in those eyes. Sue licks her lips. Ohhh God, don’t tempt me, Sue! Don’t tempt me!
Suzi swallows hard and whispers, “Kiss me.”
Didi shakes her head and bends down to whisper, “What?”
She laughs once, nervously, before whispering again, “Kiss me.” Didi blinks several times. She opens her mouth and the woman’s finger stops her from talking. She whispers again, “Don’t tell me you don’t know how or that you can’t or that you’re allergic, Didi Tate.” She watches Didi smile, “Just kiss me.”
Didi leans down, Suzanne’s finger drops away, and their lips meet. The first kiss is tentative, a “feeling out”, if you will. But as soon as that first one ends, Didi knows she’s going in for another. The second kiss is a little faster with a little more pressure. Suzi’s hands cup Didi’s face and the third kiss hits home loud and clear.
Didi’s mind races. Oh shit! She’s wanting more! I totally think she’s wanting me to have sex with her! The part of Didi’s brain that wasn’t melted with kiss number one begins to panic. She pulls back and whispers, “Can we go out on the porch?” What the hell did I ask that for? What am I gonna do on the porch?
Suzi smiles, “Sure.” She slides her hand into Didi’s and leads the confused girl to the porch.
The air is plenty cold enough to wake Didi’s dulled senses. She begins to talk before her teeth start to chatter, “Suzi, I don’t know what you’re doing with me. I’m a little confused. This is all new to me.” She flings her arms out, “All of this. I’ve never been this cold and hot and confused and clear-headed before all at once.”
Freezing to the core, Suzanne crosses her arms over her chest, “What are you confused about?”
“What are you doing to me? What do you want from me?”
The older woman laughs a little and looks away, “I don’t know all that I want from you.” She looks back into Didi’s face, “But I know that if I don’t make love to you soon, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
Didi shakes her head twice, “What? You want to what?”
“I like you, Didi. I like you a lot. And I know you’re probably not identifying yourself as a lesbian, but I think you like me too. Don’t you?”
Didi stumbles over words, “But..I’m..yeah. I mean. I think. I mean I think that I do, yeah. I mean, but..sex? You? I mean. You want me to have sex with you?”
Suzi laughs, “Well, don’t say it like it’s the worst offer you’ve ever received!”
The freshman retracts in horror, “Oh God, no! That’s not what I meant! Not at all! I mean, I’m shocked that you want me!”
“Well,” she nods, “believe it. Because I do. In the worst way.”
Didi blinks and stares at the road, “I’m just. Wow.”
She steps up against Didi and nudges her, “Is that something you’re interested in, Tate?”
Suzanne throws her head back and laughs, “God, you’re something else, you know that?”
“God, I’m sorry. I just. I’m so…” She runs her hands through her hair, “Just fucking confused!”
“Didi, look at me. It’s not a hard decision. Do you want to see me naked?”
Didi can’t help the sly grin on her face, “Well, technically, I’ve seen you naked.”
Calling her bluff, Suzi huffs, “You know, you’re right.” She backs away, “I’m sorry I asked. You’ve already seen all there is to see.”
Didi steps forward, “No! I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’m sorry.” She looks down at her shoes, “Of course I want to see you naked. But…” she shakes her head from side to side slowly, “I’ve never…you know.”
“Well it’s not all that different with girls.”
Didi looks up at the ceiling of the porch with a sigh, knowing her face is growing redder by the second, “Well that’d be a lot of help if I’d done it with guys. But I haven’t done that, either.”
She blinks, “You’re a virgin?”
Didi blushes bright crimson even in the dark, “Don’t say it like that. Dude, I didn’t have time for boyfriends. Or girlfriends. Fuck, I didn’t have time for friends!” She shoves her hands in her pockets, “So…you know I didn’t have time for sex!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Suzi reaches out and wraps her arms around Didi’s waist, “Would you…” she shrugs, “want me to be your first?”
Didi looks down into those eyes. She couldn’t deny this woman a single thing. “Just be easy with me?”
Her smile could melt glaciers, “That’s the only way I do it.” Suzi stands on her tiptoes and kisses Didi softly for several seconds. When they pull apart, she whispers, “Follow me.”
Didi hopes her hands aren’t trembling as she’s being pulled up the stairs. Oh my God. What am I doing? Please don’t let me make an idiot of myself.
Suzanne knocks lightly on the door to one of the two guest rooms. Getting no response, she opens the door, “Guess this one’s all ours.” The room is dark, but she ties a scarf around the doorknob before flicking on the light.
Didi’s eyes water with the sudden burst of light, “Whoa.”
Suzi giggles and squints herself, “Sorry. Let me find the matches.” She opens a drawer, “Here they are. Bless Cassie’s heart.” She begins lighting candles. When she’s got a few lit, she flicks the light back off. “There now, better?”
Didi wipes her eyes and laughs, “Better.”
Suzi wraps her arms around Didi from behind, “I know you’re nervous. But I promise we’ll go slow and I won’t scare you.”
She turns in the woman’s arms and smiles at her, “Nah, you don’t scare me, Baird.”
“Good,” she mumbles before kissing the girl. She reaches up and brushes her knuckles against Didi’s cheek, feeling the silky softness. Didi’s hands are softly caressing her back, creating chill bumps all over.
Didi moans without realizing it and blushes. Suzi ends the kiss and smiles at her, prompting her to say, “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t say you’re sorry. I want you to let me hear you when I do something good. And tell me when I do something bad, too. Sex, good sex, is all about communication.” Didi nods, mute. Suzanne steps back, “Would you like to undress me? Or would you rather me do it?”
Didi thinks a moment, “Um..can I?”
Didi reaches out and grabs the hem of the woman’s sweater, “Hands up.” She pulls the sweater up and over Suzi’s head, mussing up the woman’s hair in the process, “Oops, there went your ‘do.”
Suzi shakes her head, her hair falling down around her face, “I don’t care. It’s gonna get a lot worse that this, I hope.” She winks at Didi, who laughs. “Your turn.” She reaches out and Didi reaches up. With one swift motion, Didi’s sweater joins the other on the floor.
Didi smiles, “This ain’t so bad.”
With a giggle, Suzi responds, “See? I told ya!”
Didi reaches out, without a word. The silence magnifies the moment, and Didi touches Suzanne’s bare shoulder for the first time. Her fingers are cold compared to the skin there, and it makes Suzi shiver. She’s awestruck at how soft and hot the older woman’s body is. She takes a bold step forward to close the distance between them. She lowers her head, overcome with sudden bravado, and kisses the shoulder. After a few well-placed kisses there, she moves up Suzi’s neck to her jaw line, and across to her mouth, which she kisses with passion. She wraps her arms around the woman’s waist and pulls her closer.
Pleasantly surprised by Didi’s bravery, Suzi gives in to the kiss and embrace because her own legs are so wobbly, she couldn’t hold herself up if she tried. As the kiss deepens, she reaches around Didi and unclasps the girl’s bra. She trails her fingertips up Didi’s shoulder blades and over her shoulders. She then gently pushes the straps down Didi’s arms.
Didi takes her bra and peels it off the rest of the way before reaching around and doing the same with the other woman’s bra. She’s unprepared for the shock of feeling Suzi’s nipples against her own skin. Neither is she prepared for the excitement of feeling her own nipples against someone else’s hands. When Suzi’s hands cup her breasts, Didi sucks in a breath and shudders.
Suzanne whispers, “Too fast?”
Didi shakes her head, “Too new.”
“Relax, baby. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”
Didi nods and closes her eyes unwillingly, but she can’t help it. That feeling Sue’s creating with her thumbs is just too much for her to bare with her eyes open. She groans when Sue’s fingers pinch lightly, “Oh God.” She gasps, “Jesus.”
Sue smiles, “Like that?”
“Ohhh yeah. More than I thought I would.”
Suzi leans in and licks a nipple, “What about that?”
Didi sucks in a big breath, “Holy shit.”
She repeats the lick on the other nipple, causing Didi to sway backwards, “Whoa! Come back here!”
Didi opens her eyes, “Suzi, I’m gonna lose my balance. I need to sit down or something.”
She pushes Didi gently to the bed, “Alright. Have a sit down.”
Didi sits and comes eye level with Suzi’s nipples. She leans forward and licks one, eliciting a moan, “Ah, you like that too, huh?”
She smiles and puts her hands on Didi’s shoulders, “Yes. I do. I like it a lot.” Didi does it again. And again. And then she sucks. And then her hands go to Suzanne’s hips and she pulls the woman against her hard.
Suzi is lost in the feeling. Her head drops back and she arches her chest into Didi’s face and mouth. She moans encouragingly.
Without coaxing Didi reaches up and unbuttons Suzanne’s jeans. When the zipper goes down, she knows there is no turning back. She boldly goes forward and pulls the pants all the way down and off. She turns her kisses and licks to the woman’s stomach now. Her hands drift lightly up and down the outer side of Suzi’s thighs as she licks around the woman’s bellybutton. “Mmmm D..” She gasps as Didi’s tongue traces the elastic of her underwear. She smiles and looks down at the top of Didi’s head, “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”
Didi smiles and hooks her fingers in the top of Suzi’s underwear as she looks up, “Well, to be honest, I’ve probably done this about a million times since November. But only in my head.” Her eyes twinkle with mischief. She peels Suzi’s underwear off and marvels at the fact that Suzanne Baird is now totally naked before her.
“Your turn.” Suzi gently pushes Didi back until she’s laying on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge. She unbuttons the girl’s jeans and then leans over her, bracing her weight on the palm she presses onto the bed just beside Didi’s waist. She bends her head down and sucks a nipple into her mouth as her finger teases Didi along the edge of her jeans.
Didi gasps, “God.”
Suzi flicks her tongue back and forth over that nipple and then the next before kissing between Didi’s breasts and moving further down. She pulls Didi’s pants off and then kisses down Didi’s taut stomach. She lets her tongue dance around the edge of Didi’s underwear because turnabout’s fair play. Didi grabs Suzi’s head and her fingers get lost in the woman’s hair when Suzi pulls her underwear off. Suzanne presses her body against Didi’s and shimmies her way up to the girl’s face.
Didi kisses her, more than vaguely aware of how wet she is because of that move. Soon, instinct takes over and Didi loses track of who’s who and what’s what. Their bodies are a tangled mess of limbs and hot skin. The only sounds in the room are of candles burning, skin sliding against skin, and the occasional moan or stifled scream. Didi explores willingly, fearlessly, and without reservation. She gives of herself freely and openly…and most of all, unashamedly.
Suzi takes her time, memorizes every movement, every sigh. And cherishes every single second of Didi’s first time since she didn’t get to memorize her own first time.
When it’s all over and Didi’s pressed against Suzanne, spooning her in quiet bliss, she whispers, “Thank you.”
Suzi smiles, rubbing her thumb against the arm that’s draped over her waist, “For what, baby?”
“For taking your time. For being bold enough to say something.”
She sighs, “That’s so sweet, Didi.”
“You can call me D.”
She brings Didi’s hand to her lips and kisses it, “Well then, D, you can call me Suze or Suzi.”
Didi smiles against Sue’s hair, “I’d rather call you mine.”
Suzi giggles, “Well you can do that, too.”
Didi props herself up on her elbow, “Are you serious? This isn’t just a one night thing?”
She looks back over her shoulder at Didi, “I don’t have one-night stands.”
“But how did you know I liked you enough to do this? And then want more?”
“I didn’t. I had to bribe God.”
Didi laughs, “What did you promise Him if He granted your wish?”
“Your first born.”
Didi shrugs and lays back down, “Okay, good. He’s gonna be waitin’ a while because I’m not having kids.”
“That’s what I thought.” She closes her eyes and yawns in exhaustion.
After a moment of silence Didi props herself up again, “How did you know I didn’t want kids?”
She chuckles without opening her eyes, “I know everything, Didi.”
“Yeah right. Seriously.”
“Seriously.” Didi frowns and then sticks her tongue out. “I saw that.”
Didi’s eyes grow wide, “You did?”
She laughs, “Go to sleep.”
She lays down again and tries to sleep. But she has one more question, “Seriously though, how did you know I liked you?”
“Because I love you too much for you not to love me back.”
As that sinks in, Didi doesn’t breathe. When she finally does, she whispers, “I love you too, Suze.”
Her face breaks out very slowly into a full smile before she whispers, “I know.”
Didi smiles and closes her eyes.