The one rate plan

“D, just wipe it on.” Sue says in her best reassuring and calm voice.

Didi, however, is whining, “Bu’ I don’t know how. You always did this for me! Cain’t ju just come ova here and help me?”

“D, we’re across the country from each other. That’s not exactly right down the hallway.”

“Don’t remind me.” Didi sighs, “A’ ‘ight, so you jus’ wipe it on?”

Sue smiles and bites her thumbnail, “Yes. But make sure you spread it evenly.”

Didi huffs, “Okay, I’ma put th’ phone down. Hang on.”

Sue mutters, “Okay.”

Didi lays the phone down and proceeds to wipe the beige foundation onto her face. She tries to go slowly and do a good job, but she can tell it’s getting streaky and blotchy. She scratches her head and looks at the make up wedge in her hand, “A’ ight now, this shit ain’t funny. Jus’ go on evenly okay?” She makes another pass at it, and it seems to be going well. She evens out the edges and blends it in, though not perfectly, certainly passably. She picks the phone back up, “Damn, am I glad that’s done. What next?”

Sue smiles, “Okay, pick up the round compact-”

Didi cuts her off, “Th’ green one?”

“Yeah, the green one. That’s pressed powder. You use the little puff on the top to spread it all over your face. It’s used to seal the foundation.”

“Suz, I don’ wan’ this shit sealed on my face!”

“D, that’s just a way of saying that it takes the shine out.” She laughs silently; knowing that if she laughed out loud, the poor girl would was her face and go to Media Day without a stitch of make up on. And although she’s naturally pretty, it’s just common courtesy to dress up a little. She’d forgotten, though, that make up is “dressing up a LOT” for Didi.

“Fine. Hang on ag’in.” Didi puts the phone down with another exasperated sigh. She dabs the puff onto the powder and starts with her nose, rubbing it on. “Well that went a’ight, I think.” She picks the phone back up, “What now?”

“Take the littlest compact, the square one, and open it. You’ll see that there are two different colors of brown in it. That’s eye shadow. You’ll take the little wand, rub a little bit of the lightest color on it and swipe your eyelid with it.”

Not understanding why it’s so important that she go through this ritualized torture, Didi groans. “Bu’ why, Suz? Cain’t I jus’ put m’ hair down and go now?”

Sue sighs and shakes her head in defeat, “Okay, D, just put your hair down, brush it until it shines, and put some lip gloss on. I think you’re past done.”

Didi, delighted with being let off so easy, grabs the bag with the lip gloss in it, “Okay, what color?”

“Well, match a color to what you’re wearing. What are you wearing?”

“Well, you ‘member that red shirt…”

As Didi tries to describe the exact color of her shirt, Sue closes her eyes and thinks, “Oh sweet Jesus, she’s got 40 red shirts! I really need to look into AT&T stock options!”

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